If my superpower is invisibility then could I please be truly invisible? Or maybe unaware? I see things or feel what others don’t. My sister and my long time friend will tell me I’m being paranoid or too sensitive. Then I have to prove it. Once I tell them what to look for, body language or the person’s eyes, they get it. I’m tired of this. Tired of going to CVS and knowing I am going to get an eye roll or talked about as I walk away. I’m sorry I talked too much after that one round of shock therapy, and after changing some of my meds constantly. I’m sorry for asking questions about my medications. I thought that was part of being a pharmacist. I try to be silent now. Even when the new generic I got isn’t working and all of the prices have changed. Today was hard, I couldn’t keep the tears in as I walked away from the counter. No one noticed the red head staring at the water cooler until she could control her emotions. They never do. This power of invisibility has been with me for so long now I wouldn’t know what to do if I was seen. My birthday parties were always for two. Only one celebrated. My sister and her friends had fun every year. I watched from the sidelines. I didn’t know until later she was counting the years until it could just be her. I was actually banned from her birthday parties when she was in college. It’s ok I was a full-blown alcoholic by then. Today I am sober and more alone than ever. I go from anger to sadness hour by hour. My health is in question so I am stuck in limbo medication wise and therapy wise. I’m forgetting words more often and my stutter is embarrassing. It’s been made clear that family and the public really do not want to be around anyone who is “sick” or “down”.  There is no place for me except with animals or by the water. If I could I would go to a place like that.

About darie73

I have lived with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. I have lived with Social Anxiety Disorder for even longer. I self-medicated with alcohol for over 20 years, that's how long it took to get a diagnosis. I'm open and honest about my mental health so hopefully one day the system will change. View all posts by darie73

You must be logged in to post a comment.

%d bloggers like this: