I left the house today. I haven’t been doing much of that often. It’s gotten worse since I started taking the generic Adderall from Aurobindo Pharma. So instead of 1 and 1/2 tablets I took 2. There was way less crying, no stuttering and I could leave the house. Just one small problem, I still feel the effects 13 hours later. It took longer to kick in too. I’ll go back to my original dose tomorrow. I see my doctor on the 11th and will discuss it with him.
I took a walk through town today and saw a man I used to work with years ago. He stopped me to say hello and asked how I was doing. He asked about my dad too. The entire time he looked at his watch and the other people walking by. He interrupted me and said he had to go.
If anyone sees me in the future and you’re not really interested in anything I have to say you just think you’re doing a good deed or the polite thing, don’t. I feel worse after. I’m not an idiot. I can tell when someone isn’t listening or really couldn’t care less. So just let me keep walking. Pretend you didn’t see me or recognize me. I don’t care. I get enough fake people as it is. Every time I go to the pharmacy, a doctor, or talk to a relative. I’m not paranoid or over sensitive that’s just the way it is. I don’t have to prove or validate it to anyone. I’m tired of feeling like I do or being questioned about a situation. “Are you sure that’s what was said or is that how YOU interpreted it?” I’m done explaining. Either way if it made me feel bad, sad, or uncomfortable I have a right to those feelings. End of story.