Today I went to the salon and had my hair done. My hair stylist has been on maternity leave so I have not seen her in long time.
I had forgotten how much I love the smell and sounds of a salon. It made me happy.
I had forgotten how the person who does my hair always has a light around her. She wears the jewelry I make and posts pictures of it on her Pinterest page and Facebook. When she does this she always has kind words to say about me.
She also has a best friend that is Bipolar. She never treats me differently and always offers words of encouragement and compassion.
She invites me out for coffee or dinner. Most times I decline. I’m too afraid. She knows this and doesn’t push but still continues to ask anyway.
She tells me I am beautiful, kind, smart and one of the best people she’s ever met. She tells me these things even after seeing me cry in her chair.
She likes my rambling. She says it doesn’t bother her because sometimes she learns something new.
I know I am paying her for a service but she has plenty of clients and doesn’t need to blow smoke up my ass to keep me as one. She is genuinely concerned about me and takes an interest in what I do. That is rare.
She has invited me to go to a corn maze and I will try to make myself go. It’s time.
I told my sister I would be limiting my contact with her. Every interaction with my sister leaves me feeling worse than when I started. It isn’t her fault. She’ll never be able to fully understand me. Truth is she never did and never tried. I have to accept that or keep getting hurt by it. I can not handle the hurt anymore. She’s my twin and I love her with everything I have but sometimes you have to take a step back for awhile.
So today was a better day and tomorrow we’ll see what happens.