I’m tired, confused, my head feels like an axe is trying to split it in two. I forgot to eat and drink yesterday. All of this is due to what I wanted. A dog. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a puppy. It’s hell. I can’t do my routine at night and I do not like change. I look like the Grim Reaper. My father isn’t being helpful at all. I was ready to give up on the idea because part of me knew but then he asked why I wasn’t looking for dogs anymore. And when I rejected 2 that we went to see he got pissed. Then he pushed me to keep looking. Now he won’t watch the puppy for me to even go to the bathroom. Or to go to the store to get supplies for the puppy.
I’m having major panic attacks all day and when I went to the Doctor he told me I’ll be having 3 more surgeries. Who’s going to watch the puppy? And I may be left using a catheter for the rest of my life. It won’t be in all the time just as needed. But still who wants to do that? So I’m stressed out, stuttering, getting yelled at, not sleeping, sweating (don’t ask), and an all around mess.
But I love the dog and I’ll figure it out. I’ve never given up on an animal, a person is different an animal never.