Be Careful What You Wish For

I’m tired, confused, my head feels like an axe is trying to split it in two. I forgot to eat and drink yesterday. All of this is due to what I wanted. A dog. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a puppy. It’s hell. I can’t do my routine at night and I do not like change. I look like the Grim Reaper. My father isn’t being helpful at all. I was ready to give up on the idea because part of me knew but then he asked why I wasn’t looking for dogs anymore. And when I rejected 2 that we went to see he got pissed. Then he pushed me to keep looking. Now he won’t watch the puppy for me to even go to the bathroom. Or to go to the store to get supplies for the puppy.

I’m having major panic attacks all day and when I went to the Doctor he told me I’ll be having 3 more surgeries. Who’s going to watch the puppy? And I may be left using a catheter for the rest of my life. It won’t be in all the time just as needed. But still who wants to do that? So I’m stressed out, stuttering, getting yelled at, not sleeping, sweating (don’t ask), and an all around mess.

But I love the dog and I’ll figure it out. I’ve never given up on an animal, a person is different an animal never.

About darie73

I have lived with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. I have lived with Social Anxiety Disorder for even longer. I self-medicated with alcohol for over 20 years, that's how long it took to get a diagnosis. I'm open and honest about my mental health so hopefully one day the system will change. View all posts by darie73

One response to “Be Careful What You Wish For

  • La Sabrosona

    I’m sorry to hear life with new puppy is rough. Sending warm vibes from chilly Canada. You’re a tough cookie BTW. You still have a gentle and kindness about you inspite of all the bs you deal with. Big big hug Amiga 🙂


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