The Future of Me

When I think I might need a kidney transplant or dialysis as a 43 year old single woman I’m scared and feel I wasted so much time.

I spent so much time being wasted that the years flew by. When I stopped and looked around me I realized everyone else in my peer group was married with children. I was still going to bars and concerts.

So I never had children or an actual relationship where the other person stays for more than one night. I thought I loved a few but they didn’t love me.

Now it might be too late for anything. Things I always wanted to do. I always wanted to meet Steven Tyler. I’ve met famous people and they don’t ever really live up to the expectation. But I don’t care, I’ve always wanted to meet Mr. Tyler. His lyrics have always been with me. I’ve always wanted to travel. Warm places because I’m always cold now. Living in Rhode Island with Kidney Disease sucks. Places like New Orleans, Australia, Ireland, Greece, at one time Belize then I watched the TV series Mad Dogs and changed my mind. I would want to visit places with beautiful animals and waterfalls. It’s a lot to ask for. I would like to make jewelry again and laugh. I want to laugh with my sister again.

About darie73

I have lived with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. I have lived with Social Anxiety Disorder for even longer. I self-medicated with alcohol for over 20 years, that's how long it took to get a diagnosis. I'm open and honest about my mental health so hopefully one day the system will change. View all posts by darie73

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