Is There A Doctor In The House?

Do you ever feel there is a huge lack of Doctors that truly understand Bipolar Disorder or Mental Illness at all? I do. When I was going through everything with my dad and was extremely irrational I called mine. I was stuttering and rambling on. I was trying to explain that I needed to be there for him. I needed to feed the birds. I needed to calm down. I needed SLEEP!

He wanted me in the hospital. I laughed at him. He gave me a prescription for basically an over the counter sleep aid. The ingredient in Benadryl. Diphenhydramine HCI 50 mg, and Trazodone 100 mg. I didn’t even get the over the counter one because I already have it. I took the Trazodone and was out for 6 hours. When I woke up I couldn’t move my arms or legs. I also couldn’t speak. I used my nose to dial my sister on my cell phone and tried speaking to her. It scared the crap out of her. Two hours went by before I could move almost normally. I called the Doctor who told me to take extra Adderall to counter act the Trazodone. I’m not a lab experiment.

I think I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my meds because he never adjusted them after I told him I now only have a total kidney function of 79 %. I have LOST 120 % of kidney function. Most medications are filtered through your kidneys. He asks me everytime I go to see him “So have we tried ……… yet?” Gee you’re the Doctor don’t you know? And what’s this we shit? It’s just me suffering with these crappy side effects, not you! I’m sick of it. Why can’t they make a pill that makes me feel how alcohol did until it didn’t anymore? Sorry, I’m cranky.

About darie73

I have lived with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. I have lived with Social Anxiety Disorder for even longer. I self-medicated with alcohol for over 20 years, that's how long it took to get a diagnosis. I'm open and honest about my mental health so hopefully one day the system will change. View all posts by darie73

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