When Loved Ones Seek Therapy Because Of You

My sister told me recently that she has been going to group therapy for people who have mentally ill members of the family. She has been going because I am and have been toxic in her life. I have been disrespectful to her husband and mean to her. This broke my heart more. I have been selfish in my disease and need to take responsibility for my actions.

If I have to hear that crap from her or her husband one more time my head will explode. I was disrespectful to her husband ONE time in over 20 years. He has done and said plenty of things that I have had to bite my tongue about. When he decided to discipline my dog by shoving her with his foot in her chest across the floor, I said nothing. She limped for several days after. It was my fault, not the dog’s fault. He had no right. He was a guest in our home and she only weighed 9 pounds. My beautiful Pap. He has also called me without my sister knowing to chastise me because I upset her in some way. This is not his business either. He will sit in front of other family members and call my brother a “drunken loser”, “a degenerate gambler”, “a deadbeat dad”, etc. My brother has always supported his kids and my brother in law has no idea what my brother has been through in his life. It wasn’t easy for him. It doesn’t excuse his behavior but it at least you can understand why he does some of things he does. My brother in law just started his sobriety and thinks that  gives him the right to judge everyone else. Why isn’t my sister in a support group for that?

She doesn’t want to have contact with me. I upset her too much. I ask too much of her. I have only asked her to love me. She said she never said I could stay with them if something happened with our dad and I needed a place to stay for a short time. I lost it on the phone. I cried so hard and stuttered so much she hung up on me. So now I have just my dad who is keeping me prisoner here. I was told that if I even take a few days at the beach not to come back. I have a Kidney Infection in the one I have left, side effects from a medication I’m back on, no support, my back is out, I have not had a simple hug or show of support in a long time. I feel like I am done. I feel tired.

About darie73

I have lived with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. I have lived with Social Anxiety Disorder for even longer. I self-medicated with alcohol for over 20 years, that's how long it took to get a diagnosis. I'm open and honest about my mental health so hopefully one day the system will change. View all posts by darie73

3 responses to “When Loved Ones Seek Therapy Because Of You

  • Pieces of Bipolar

    You are shouldering so much by yourself. Is there perhaps a support group you yourself could go to? To be among people who understand and relate would be very comforting. Maybe your sister is as toxic for you as she says you are for her? Maybe a ‘no contact’ with her and her hubby would be healthy for you. These are just suggested solutions. You need to carve out a place of peace for yourself. All this stress is not healthy for you and I’m concerned about your health

    Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      OMAG! I just lost my entire reply! Anyway, there are more groups for families than for the actual patients. The groups that they have lump together ALL mentally ill patients together with some detoxing patients. I’ve been doing this for a long time. I would also go with my mom to visit my Aunt who has spent of her life in institutions or apartments for the mentally ill. They never take into account the different levels of illness. My last group meeting about 13 years ago, I had just left my car when I was surrounded by police cars and police with their guns drawn. It wasn’t for me!! A man in my group had pulled a gigantic butcher knife out of his jacket and was threatening everyone. Stupid me didn’t realize I had walked right into it. lol I did send my sister about 6 of my blog posts hoping she might understand a little better. She told me they were beautiful and she tries to understand, she loves me and scared for me all of the time. I understand that. I understand I have work to do.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Pieces of Bipolar

      Gosh! Then definitely steer clear of the support group route. I’m glad your sister is at least trying to understand. I hope she can gain some insight into our illness

      Liked by 1 person

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