Part III ~ WHAT IS PSYCHOSIS & CATATONIA?

In part 2 I left off discussing how some of my family is Mentally Ill and how other family members felt about it. I also mentioned Psychosis and Catatonia. Because I have witnessed so much from a young age I had my own ideas about Mental Illness.

I call it Mental Illness because those in my family that were diagnosed with Schizophrenia, Major Depressive Disorder, and Bipolar Disorder were all unable to care for themselves. To me that is an illness no matter what Political Correctness you want brought to the table.

So whenever I heard Psychosis or Catatonia I thought of my family members who hallucinated or couldn’t care for themselves.

After the kitchen incident with me and the butcher knife I talked to Dr. T about ECT or Electroconvulsive Therapy. I was running out of options. He agreed. I did my research as usual. Neither one of us took in to account my diagnosis of Conversion Disorder, Psychosis, and Catatonia. I only knew about the first one he knew about them all. He had stopped seeing me as a person and now I was “something to fix”.

PSYCHOSIS

Psychosis usually happens during a Depressive Episode.

Delusions can be part of Psychosis. Delusions include thoughts of being “important”, jealousy, feeling like “everyone” secretly dislikes you, that random events have a special meaning “just for you”. There can also be Paranoia.

Paranoia isn’t always what we’ve been taught through TV or Movies. Excessive worry about what people think of you or if they really think you’re a joke. Misreading facial expressions between people like “eye rolling” and assuming it’s about you. Starting to dislike parties, crowds, stores, because you become uncomfortable thinking everyone is staring at you. You then start to avoid groups or social situations all together so you don’t have to feel embarrassed or lonely.

CATATONIA

Catatonia involves many aspects. Some of the frequent ones are mutism, negatism, repeating the movements of others, repeating words of others, withdrawal from family and friends, malnutrition, and the beginning of muscle breakdown.

Usually a Psychiatrist and a Neurologist will each do exams to rule out any other possible causes. What they look at are repetitive movements of the mouth, jaw, and eyes. Tapping of the feet, fingers, hand fluttering, shoulder shrugging and body rocking.

Psychomotor Agitation and Psychomotor Retardation (used as a Medical Term) describe what the “Team” looks for to make a Diagnosis.

Psychomotor Agitation includes mostly your motor functions. The Doctors look for fidgeting, tapping, pacing, restlessness, talking faster than normal, and racing thoughts.

In Bipolar patients there are more specific signs. Bragging about your opinions and skills, disregarding social cues, being over friendly, and monopolizing conversations.

Psychomotor Retardation is somewhat the opposite. You can’t get out of bed, make decisions or concentrate, you feel weak and talk slower, you can also have trouble walking, writing, and hand eye coordination.

ME, MYSELF, AND I

Since my crib days I have fidgeted and done repetitive action. I don’t know what this means. I never told any of the Doctors because I didn’t think it was important.

My twin sister and I had cribs that were on wheels. You know, the real safe kind from 1973 where the wheels didn’t lock correctly. When I could pull myself up in my crib I would rock back and forth until my crib was on the other side of the room. I would also “wiggle” my leg to fall asleep, or bang my head on my pillow until I fell asleep. Why my parents never found this odd I don’t know. Wait, I do know. My mother had seen far worse.

Throughout my life I always had one leg going up and down if I was sitting. I was often asked how much caffeine I had consumed when I maybe had one ice coffee. I agree to monopolizing conversations. I also clench my jaw without realizing it causing severe problems, and the body rocking I still do when things are really bad, accompanying it is a hand flutter that taps my head and a stutter.

I have had long periods of time where I have stayed in bed, I definitely can’t make decisions, my legs and arms are weak, I stumble backwards often or “trip” over nothing. My hand eye coordination has diminished, one of the reasons I stopped making jewelry and stopped driving at night. And I can’t forget losses of time or once or twice seeing some things that were not there. (Like at the library where I was hanging from hundreds of trees).

PROGNOSIS

Like most issues if left untreated they are difficult to treat. ECT is really the only suggested choice as of now and even with that the chances of recovery or improvement is poor regardless of treatment.

OK, WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING TO DISCUSS ECT, AKA SHOCK THERAPY, AKA ELECTROCONVULSIVE THERAPY, WHAT TYPES ARE THERE, WHAT TO EXPECT, SIDE EFFECTS, LISTENING TO OPINIONS AND YOUR CHOICE!! (Took this pic 2yrs ago)dsc01166

 

About darie73

I have lived with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. I have lived with Social Anxiety Disorder for even longer. I self-medicated with alcohol for over 20 years, that's how long it took to get a diagnosis. I'm open and honest about my mental health so hopefully one day the system will change. View all posts by darie73

18 responses to “Part III ~ WHAT IS PSYCHOSIS & CATATONIA?

  • repsychl

    Thank you for sharing this. It’s so important that we come to understand psychosis. I have just published an article about schizophrenia – perhaps you’d like to have a read 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      Thank you, I’ll take a look. Schizophrenia is a difficult illness. Both my Uncle and Aunt are diagnosed as Paranoid Schizophrenic. My Uncle Jimmy chose to use IV drugs and live on the streets for the majority of his life. He was diagnosed with HIV about 15 years ago but passed away recently from AIDS related complications. My Aunt chose medication and social workers that control everything she does. She’s been on lithium for 20 years and in the hospital for lithium toxicity. Her doctors still keep her on it. They are my Mom’s brother and sister. I’ve grown up surrounded by different types of Mental Health problems and Addiction which makes it worse that I never recognized it in myself, or if I did I ignored it.

      Liked by 1 person

    • repsychl

      I’m so sorry to hear all of that 😦 it must be very tough for you indeed. You must be so strong to deal with all of it. Let me know if you ever need to talk.
      Medical professionals really don’t know enough about schizophrenia, it must be understood from a variety of perspectives and not only a medical one.
      I wish you and your family all the best.

      Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      Thank you. I’m not strong at all. I have Conversion Disorder that I guess has shielded me in a way from the worst of it but also causes it’s own problems. Being Bipolar is hard because so many people (including my twin sister) believe that I’m not trying hard enough, that I don’t want “to get better”. I’ve been on over 20 different medication combinations, I’ve had ECT, and Therapy. I wasn’t diagnosed until I drank for 20 years, had several suicide attempts, court ordered therapy, prescribed wrong medications, a DUI, spent nights in jail, and no one ever suspected Bipolar or anything other than Alcoholism/Anxiety/Depression. They all knew my family history. It took over 24 years to receive a correct diagnosis. The part that really bothers me is that my Doctors think I probably started showing signs of Bipolar Disorder as early as 12/13 years of age. I felt so bad for my Dad when he heard that. That’s when he told me that my Mom and him had discussed taking me to a Doctor but thought I would grow out of it. They kept discussing it as they noticed different things but they didn’t want me in a Hospital. My Dad doesn’t cry but he did then.

      Like

  • Rob

    You have an amazing mind. You should write a book. Great share as usual

    Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      If I wrote a book Oprah would come out of retirement.

      Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      You need to get out more!!! No one finds me this funny or fabulous!! Plus I ate all my cookies. Yup, just me.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rob

      Well I do. You know I appreciate you and your work. You’re my kind of person

      Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      Thanks. I still feel a little sick over the cookies though. I’m trying to get around my Twitter problem too. I thought Twitter didn’t matter until I looked at the numbers. I didn’t have followers but about 50-60 people a day were hitting on the link to read about addiction or Bipolar/Mental Health issues so I was thinking it would be worth it to keep the posts going there but for me not to follow anyone or engage? Does that make sense? Or like I’m still seeking validation/approval? You don’t have to answer. lol We’re not in Group.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rob

      Lol. No worries. yes, just activate twitter publishing in blog and let it do it’s thing. I have been messing with it for 30 mins and now I’m just aggravated with it. But I did activate so when I post here, it will update there. We’re not in group, lmfao

      Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      I know. I have this HUGE PROBLEM where I relate to lyrics and I assume the person writing them relates to something in me so I follow them. I rarely comment unless I see a completely ignorant comment by another follower. Depending on who I am at the moment I usually get myself in trouble. What really makes me mad is the person I’m following doesn’t realize we’ve met and talked on several occasions one of them I attended a wedding with but I was either 250 pounds or close to it and my hair was so blond it was almost white. Then I feel worse because I was also drinking during that time so I can’t remember if insulted them either. lol

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rob

      You probably did, lmao . You keep me alive and well, just so you know…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rob

      That’s awfully nice of you to say. Means a lot to me

      Like

  • Echo

    Beautiful picture!
    So wow…I’ve always kinda done that stuff too…I’m extremely repressed tho it displays diff but is prob the same thing worn on another human. I love these posts..you inform without judgement or condescending…just info and how it relates to you. Perfect. I think ppl need this education. Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      Thanks. I’ve always had a problem with Blogs or Sites that put a positive spin on everything. I would go on Blogs with inspirational quotes and suggestions about how to “get better” or “recover” and I would feel worse. There are more people like me who have a harder time with medications and therapy than those who “recover”. I needed truth and to know I wasn’t the only one who felt the way I did. This is where I found it. I know my posts have a tendency to be on the negative side. Someday I hope this will change.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Echo

      Aw I disagree with the negative…truth is truth it may be sad or unattractive at times but personally still prefer it to bullshiz any day. I’ve seen a lot of those sites too and felt the same…and I kinda think if the world was less judgey we might fare better in it just the way we are. Xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

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