MY BEAUTIFUL BROKEN BOY (Childhood Trauma and Bullying)

He’s standing there with his backpack waiting for his brother to come out of the School Building. His blond hair shines in the sun between the trees. He has eyes the color of the bluest ocean, just┬álike me, his mother and Grandmother. He has trouble being still so he swings his backpack back and forth not realizing how close he is to a treasured “butterfly cocoon” a PTA Mom has gotten a group of children excited about.

When his pack hits it everything will change for this boy I love like he’s my own. He’s my twin sister’s son, in the 1st Grade and small for his age. I’m not biased when I say he’s beautiful, both of my nephews are. They got all of the good parts of both their parents and none of the bad. Physically that is. As an outsider I’ve noticed things in both of my nephews that scare me. They are both extremely sensitive to what’s going on around them. Their feelings are hurt easily and they have a hard time controlling their emotions. It’s good they have my sister for a Mom.

As my sister walks out of the School Building she sees her baby boy surrounded by 15-20 other children and 1 adult woman. The woman is telling her son that he is a “Monster” while the children are chanting “Butterfly Killer” at him. He’s on the ground crying like the World is ending.

Let me say at this point in my sister’s telling me this story I start to feel hot and dizzy I also see spots in front of my eyes. I feel an amount of rage I have not felt since my twenties. I’m happy to say I’m glad I don’t know the woman’s name or address and my sister refused to give it to me. No one threatens the mental or physical well being of people I love. And you better RUN if it’s one of my babies. I can’t have children any longer so I claim them as mine. (My twin doesn’t know this)

I can’t imagine how damaging that must have been for my Shaney. Surrounded like he’s in The Lord of The Flies while being called a Killer with an ADULT leading this behavior.

When my sister intervened and talked to the woman she said my nephew intentionally kicked the cocoon and suggested he had the makings of a serial killer. I don’t know how my sister didn’t ram her head into the monkey bars or said “Let me introduce you to my sister” I would’ve been happy to scare the crap out of her. I know it isn’t right but people like this do not change as adults. They are made as children and it manifests through time making them worse with each passing day. They will never change because that would mean giving up their feeling of control. There’s no point in dealing with them.

But my nephew still has a chance if my sister and her husband deal with everything he’s been going through now. This isn’t the first time he’s been involved in a situation like this. There have been times where I catch him doing something he shouldn’t be and he looks at me with a smile on his face that scares me. But he also is the one who hugs me and doesn’t want to let go, will spend hours outside watching the trees, birds, insects, and inside reading about how to save animals. He’s sensitive and smart but I know how without the right tools and guidance his intelligence and sensitivity can work against him.

I felt like crying and screaming when I could hear him crying in the background and saying “Mommy they all hate me. I don’t want to go to school I don’t want to be a killer Please don’t make me go!”. I thought my heart would break. He doesn’t even know what a killer is. I’m crying as I type this. Humans are the cruelest things on this planet there is nothing else with the same capacity to inflict such pain.

About darie73

I have lived with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. I have lived with Social Anxiety Disorder for even longer. I self-medicated with alcohol for over 20 years, that's how long it took to get a diagnosis. I'm open and honest about my mental health so hopefully one day the system will change. View all posts by darie73

You must be logged in to post a comment.

%d bloggers like this: