After watching a video of Dave Navarro on YouTube recently I was curious about the necklace he was wearing. I found the information once then couldn’t find it again. What I did find was an odd piece of FanFiction written about him. At least I hope it was Fiction.
The story was about an Ink Master contestant who starts dating Mr. Navarro while filming. They fall in love, the romance is detailed from her point of view and supposedly his. She also becomes pregnant with twins. It was over romanticized and I have to say I felt uncomfortable reading it. The kind of uncomfortable where you know something is wrong in the pit of your stomach but you’re not sure what it is.
If it was Fiction or not if I was Dave Navarro I would’ve been uncomfortable reading it and wouldn’t want it out there for everyone to read. The way it’s written does make you question if it’s real or not. I’m pretty sure it isn’t real but like I said uncomfortable.
Anyway Mr. Navarro has inspired me to start making jewelry again but in a different direction. I want to try some new things and work with different gemstones and techniques.
This brings me to my New Year’s resolutions. I don’t know what the new year will bring for me health wise. Right now I’m not doing so great. Having 1 kidney is a bitch. Having various mental health issues isn’t fun either.
I want to try to be positive for a change. I know I’m not a positive person. I also know that I need to find a way to deal with my grief and anger. I’ve lived with both for far too long and it’s consuming me. Fear is also a big challenge. It’s going to be hard and I’m not sure if I can do it but I refuse to die alone in this house.
I want to have a jewelry booth this year. There are always a ton of Art Fairs where I live or other venues for people to showcase what they have made. I say I’m going to do this every year and I chicken out every year. This year I’m going to make myself do it. I hope.
I also need to repair my relationship with my twin sister. I don’t care what I have to do she’s my twin. She is right about many things. She’s also wrong about many things and I’ll have to get over that.
I’d like to get a passport this year just in case I can travel. I would like to see my Auntie Lee one more time in Florida too. She’s getting older and I’m getting sicker so I feel the need to see her.
I have to take better care of Dutchie. He’s gained weight and he panics too much when you try to touch his feet. I need spend more time training him.
I really want to volunteer at an animal shelter. I’d love to help out with exotics and wildlife because I know a lot about them but I’ll go where I’m needed most or where they will take me. Some places are very picky and do background checks even to volunteer.
I’m not a fan of background checks. I’m not a hardened criminal but my record isn’t clean either. I was told the incidences on there would be expunged but they were not. So there’s a DUI that shows up that I was never charged with, a drunk and disorderly, and a domestic dispute with a drunk and disorderly and resisting arrest. These were all from my twenties I’ll be 45 in January. Do restraining orders show up? Because that’s there from my twenties it goes with the domestic. I’m not making excuses I’m explaining that after a man beat me unconscious I went back a year later and took out his windshield, windows and headlights with a hard object. He pressed charges and got the restraining order even though he admitted to “beating me like Mike Tyson” to a room full of people and laughing about it.
Sorry, I got off track. It does tie into the anger and fear. I’m also unable to be around men very much without feeling immense fear. It’s worse if they have deep voices or seem aggressive. Then I start to shake and stutter. One of the many reasons I stay home.
So things have to change. This is the year to do it. I’m not getting any younger or healthier. It’s time to get out there.