Category Archives: Music, Mental Health and Me

DRESS CODES AT CONCERTS (Insert Snort Laugh Here)

The music industry is what it is. Not everyone in it is there because they have natural talent and instinct. Some are mostly smoke and mirrors, kind of like me most days. When the illusion is gone, stripped down, they can’t write music, lyrics, sing without having their voices tweaked, play acoustically or engage a crowd without theatrics.


I would’ve given anything to be able to sing, wail out my pain or emptiness nightly instead of keeping it inside. Now that I no longer partake in alcohol I only sing in my car. The problem is I don’t leave the house often. I feel better when I drive around in the sun singing as loud as I can songs that make me feel alive. Other drivers probably don’t feel better but who cares? Also my car broke down over 2 weeks ago and I haven’t picked another one yet because I hate change, I really wanted to go on a vacation and spend all my money on a car, I’m worried I won’t have a place to live soon so I don’t want to take on another bill, I have a million excuses.

If I had received a letter with my Motley Crue or Aerosmith tickets that said the following:

PLEASE DO NOT WEAR: Shorts, large logos, flip flops, tank tops, crop tops, baseball hats, solid white or red clothing. We reserve the right to deny entry to anyone dressed inappropriately.

Our dress code is HIP & TRENDY as if you are going to a concert (uh, I think that’s the point), or night out with friends! The event is standing-room-only so please plan accordingly.

I should tell you that your cellphones/cameras/recording devices will be taken and locked up but you can have access to them in a specific area only.

First off I remember when W and I went to a Motley show and she had a gigantic can of hair spray in her purse. They wouldn’t let her in with it and because it was expensive (to her) she wouldn’t throw it away. I was getting pissed off we were missing the show over hair spray so I reached over, grabbed the can and chucked it in the garbage myself. She wasn’t very happy. I told her I would buy her 2 new cans but she said that wasn’t the point. I wanted to say no, the point is you should know better than to bring a large can of flammable liquid to a concert and it isn’t expensive you’re just cheap! But I said nothing.

I could never wear what other girls/women would wear to the concerts I went to. Most of it I wouldn’t have worn even if I could’ve. Some of the outfits were ridiculous. If you are a size 20 you should know a studded bra and spandex is not flattering. I say this because I was a size 20. Even at a size 14 I didn’t do it. And seeing men (?) wearing “No Fat Chicks” T-shirts was so funny! I couldn’t believe how many of those shirts I still see. I thought of making a few of my own “NO SMALL DICKS”, “NO BALD MEN”, “BE A MAN NOT PETER PAN”, when I get together with W we kind of get on a roll. Even though I’m a little underweight now that kind of constant low self esteem and body image issues stays with you.

I apologize to Arcade Fire but I have no idea who you are. I know trendy as far as hair, jewelry and clothing go and from pictures I’ve seen I’m not sure if your stylist does. You can blame Apple all you want but you did the same in 2013 so what was the excuse then? If you’re shooting a music video I can understand. All white stands out and so does all red. Having other recording devices there would be a problem also. But shorts, tank tops, crop tops (no one should be wearing crop tops unless you’ve time warped to 1989), flip flops (someone wants to risk sticky broken toes that’s their problem), large logos (again if you’re doing a video you might have to block it out or pay the company a fee) but still it’s kind of ridiculous.

These are fans who answered a question and applied for tickets and you treated them like morons who don’t know how to dress themselves.BBCF4X9

P.S. Only one person in my opinion can pull off a haircut close to this and that’s the beautifully spirited Dave Navarro who is in no way affiliated with this blog.

Thank You Motley Crue!!*


When I first saw Motley Crue they were on the cover of a cassette tape I stole from brother’s gym sock smelling bedroom. At first I thought it was 4 women who REALLY didn’t know how to put makeup on. I kept the tape until the next day so I could show my best friend Wendy.

We listened to the tape together not saying a word the entire time. After we just looked at each other grinning. We had found our people. I bought all of their albums and cassettes I could find. I lied to my brother about the one I had stole from him. Actually I stole 2. Too Fast For Love and Shout at The Devil. That was the beginning for us or maybe it was the end. Who knows? I do know my life hasn’t been as fun since those days.

Some of my favorite Motley Crue songs are:

ALBUM                                                                                 SONG

  • Too Fast For Love                              Live Wire    Piece of Your Action
  • Shout At The Devil                            In The Beginning    Red Hot
  • Theatre of Pain                                   Use It or Lose It  Home Sweet Home
  • Girls, Girls, Girls                                Wild Side All In The Name Of G,G,G
  • Dr. Feelgood                                         S.O.S.  Don’t Go Away Mad

Of course these are not all of my favorites I’m just too lazy to list them all and I didn’t want to put the usual songs even though Home Sweet Home is there. It was my favorite song to sing while drinking and I THOUGHT I was really talented as most of us do when we are drunk and manic.

I’ve seen Motley Crue live about 10 times but don’t hold me to that because my memory isn’t what it used to be. They are a fun band to see live. I remember seeing them one time at Mohegan Sun Casino. We were waiting for the opening act to finish and decided to go get something to eat and of course drink. We were sitting there drinking beer and eating fries when I noticed a tall dark haired gentleman with the bluest eyes. For a second I thought it was Nikki Sixx coming out for some snacks before the show. It was really an Elvis impersonator that had a show there that night also. I said something weird about his Oyster Crackers being rather large and we somehow talked to him for the rest of the night missing the Motley Crue show!! Idiots!!

It’s what I do. I also convinced my best friend to go on a trip to L.A. so we could find Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, Tommy Lee, or Mick Mars. We would stay on or near the Sunset Strip. We would go to The Rainbow, The Whiskey, the strip clubs, we would do it all. And we did. We didn’t see anyone from Motley Crue but it was still the best vacation I’ve ever had and brought my best friend and I even closer. We still laugh at that trip.

Too bad after that trip things started to go south for me. My behavior became more and more erratic. My drinking more out of control and I was using drugs for the first time. I received my first DUI and saw blood for the first time when I vomited. I was starting fights with people for no reason and then crying nonstop. I did not want to live.

One of the few things saving me at the time was music. Music and thinking about when I was happy. I admitted to myself that I never really was happy. It was either the bullying, fighting at home, abuse from the men I drank with, so on and so on. All the doctors and all the therapists couldn’t put me back together again. But I still had music and memories. It was something to hold on to. I held on to it as hard as I could and I still do.

Thank you Motley Crue for giving me something to hold onto when life isn’t so great. And something to make me smile when it is. It’s been an unbelievable 35 years. Good luck in all that you do in the future.


%d bloggers like this: