Tag Archives: Self Medicating

THE PROBLEM WITH “FALL TO PIECES” (Calling Bullshit as I See It )

I love the song “Fall to Pieces” by Velvet Revolver but it’s unpleasant for me to watch to watch the video for the song. When I see an emaciated Scott Weiland “pretending” to struggle with his demons while listening to the lyrics it’s infuriating. At one point you see two girls in a bathroom at a show and Scott Weiland alone in a room with what appears to be filled with alcohol and drug paraphernalia. There’s a rush to see which room has a suspected overdose. Duff Mckagan reaches Weiland’s room and finds him on the floor, he picks him up and drags him up some stairs to a room. They argue, Duff pushes Weiland against the wall, they both slide down it while Duff holds Scott in his arms understanding the pain he’s in. Too bad that didn’t happen in real life.

Scott Weiland has admitted on several occasions that he has either a “mood disorder” or “Bipolar Disorder” that he wouldn’t take medication for. Drugs didn’t kill Scott Weiland, Mental Illness did.

He used drugs and alcohol in the place of medication, it’s one of the reasons he couldn’t maintain Sobriety. The pressure to remain “creative” and tour doesn’t help. Everyone else in Velvet Revolver had addiction problems also, some of them did a backslide during the time Scott Weiland was in the group. Scott did manage around 2 years of some sobriety until his brother died. Then everything was downhill from there.

You can’t look at the video and tell me you see a healthy person physically or mentally. The members of his band after Velvet Revolver knew he was off the rails and their guitarist had died from overdose 8 months before Scott Weiland’s death.

Maybe if Doctors or anyone had tried harder to deal with the Psychiatric aspect of his problem he might still be here along with many others. The first thing anyone sees is an ADDICT and not the cause of the addiction.


This year the focus of the conference is different and long overdue. Their main agenda is Sex, Drugs & Rock and Roll.

The frequent stories of musicians and artists who battle mental illness and addiction will be part of it. Also is there a connection between creative minds and serious mental health concerns?

Can you still create the same music or art while sober or in treatment for mental illness?

How the Entertainment Industry is playing a bigger role in helping fans with their own issues by taking away some of the stigma and being honest about their own struggles.

The biggest problems are still the Managers, Family, Labels or anyone depending the artist for money. Putting a person at risk of death so you can make a buck or live in a big house is something that disgusts me. Unfortunately I’ve seen it up close many times. I’m not sure it will end anytime soon.e51a54c1c8a5858454ba1426ad47e928


Sean Penn, El Chapo, And Addiction

So, Sean Penn takes it upon himself to seek out an infamous drug cartel warlord to do an interview for Rolling Stone. I’m sure in Mr. Penn’s mind this sounded rational. What he hoped to accomplish I’m not sure. He wasn’t planning on turning him over to any of the authorities looking for “El Chapo”. He just wanted to sit and chat. To break bread with a man affiliated with another man known as “The Stewmaker”.

The Stewmaker would put a bunch of dead bodies or not so dead bodies into a barrel of lye until there was nothing left but a goopy stew. Hence his nickname. This was not the only human body disposal system Mr. Guzman used. In his interview he said he wasn’t violent unless he had to defend himself. I guess a car filled with 2 teachers and their 3 children were a big threat. A 2 year old can do a lot of damage to the head of one of the biggest Cartels.

I understand growing up in poverty and being surrounded by violence, drugs and gangs. When you look around and all you see as a way out is to join the masses. I also understand the supply and demand. If the United States didn’t give the drug cartels such high demand they wouldn’t feel the need to offer up the supply and make billions of dollars doing so.

How many people in Hollywood whether it’s an actor, actress, singer, artist, etc. also feed into the demand? I think it’s quite a few.

How many Mentally Ill that can’t get access to a good doctor or medications feed into the demand? It’s more than a few. Does anyone take the time to think about that while saving other countries? When I see my heroine addicted Schizophrenic Uncle die from AIDS he contracted from a dirty needle while self medicating, being buried in Potter’s Field I want to vomit with the pain.

When I self medicated with alcohol and later cocaine I fed into the supply and demand. My niece who is also Mentally Ill self medicates with heroine. What is the solution for this? In this country?

“He had indisputable charisma” Mr. Penn wrote. Most Sociopaths do. I’ll admit he’s a shrewd businessman.

There was a time when all of the major drug cartels agreed to a Non Aggression Pact. El Chapo broke this pact by assassinating Rodulfo Carrillo Fuentes, head of the Juarez cartel. This set off a major power struggle between the remaining cartels and all bets were off. Let’s give the man a medal.

While incarcerated he treated prison like his personal playground. Using bribery and threats to bring in prostitutes, drugs and gourmet meals. It makes you wonder why he would want to escape.

There are many injustices in the world. I applaud those who want to right the wrongs. But maybe some of those people could use their influence in more productive ways. Maybe by starting in their own backyard.

I take a controlled substance for Bipolar Disorder. There are many Doctors and other patients with opinions on this. The insurance companies never want to cover it. I tried an experiment. I went 3 days without Adderall. For those 3 days I didn’t move. I remained on the couch drooling. The feeling of moving through quicksand was overwhelming. I couldn’t talk because my stutter was so enhanced. The crying was never ending. Finally my father asked why I was so bad. When I told him he was furious. For the first time he said screw what other people think! He said I needed that medicine and it had been prescribed by a Doctor. The only problem is the pharmacy now wants $190 for it. So do I sit on the couch and drool or fight? Unfortunately the people who abuse the drug have driven the cost up. Supply and demand. Those are some great words. A wonderful concept unless you are the one in demand.



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